Healing the “mother wound”

The mother makes an unconscious promise to protect her child.

When she fails to do that, the child loses trust in the process of life.

Children take for granted the protection and love of parents. So much so that even when parents beat, abuse, or maltreat the child, he finds fault only in himself.

“I am difficult” “I upset my parents” “I am not good”.

These become unconscious beliefs which are reinforced by our environment (spouse, others).

It’s important to recognize that we were abused.

It’s important to acknowledge that our parents did not give us the love we needed

There is no shame in admitting that my mother/father, abused me, damaged my self-worth and I’m struggling with life.

The first step to healing, is recognizing that “something is wrong and I need to heal”

You are talking to your mom, the line gets disconnected, you don’t feel like calling back.

Sounds familiar?

While you are talking to your mom, you are doing something else too, like reading Instagram posts, seeing your WhatsApp, checking your mail, looking at Facebook. Then you feel guilty, you focus only on the conversation and end up in an argument.

She accuses you of being rude, you feel she is uncaring. What do you do?

Try telling your mom how much her words and actions hurt you as a child.

See if she understands.

We are all given the impression that our parents were the best. Our upbringing was ideal.

Later you realize how your parents treated may not be ok

When you confront them with this – they may never agree that they made mistakes. They blame their behaviour on you.

Is it really so difficult to say to your children – “sorry, I didn’t know better” “I wish I had done it differently” “I’m going to try and make it up to you”

Ritu Kabra

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